When you’re a creative type (and if you’re a human being, you’re a creative type) sooner or later you’re going to come up against your inner goblin. That little voice within that you use to criticize yourself and what you’re doing in the moment. For instance –

You’re at a club and you spot an attractive member of your gender of choice. Instantly and spontaneously you feel the perfectly natural impulse to follow your bliss and your loins and sashay over to introduce yourself when an unbidden voice in your head starts telling you that you’re to old/fat/bald/ugly and it’s not worth bothering. So you don’t. And the rest of your night sucks.

You’re sat in Starbucks when you have an idea for a book! Downing your latte you head for the door intending to go home and commence work. Between your chair and the door an unbidden voice in your head starts telling you no one will read it, it’s impossible to get published, you’ve no writing experience. By the time you get to the door you’ve already given up.

You’re desperate to quit a job which gives you no satisfaction when what’s this? An advert for a job in just the area you want to work in! All they require is your c.v. Cue an unbidden voice in your head telling you your c.v and by extension you yourself are lacking, there will be hundreds of applicants better qualified and indeed better looking, so with a weary sigh you return to flipping your burgers and asking imbeciles if they “want fries with that?”.

It’s a bastard that voice and it afflicts us all at some point, crushing our creativity and restricting our freedom to act. Sometimes it’s not just a voice; it can also show us movies and pictures of past regrets and future negative outcomes. It is indeed our inner goblin.

Where does he come from? That’s beyond the scope of this little article. What I want to share with you is a little mental magic trick for getting shot of him for at least the time it takes to accomplish whatever it is he’s stopping you from attempting. This requires a little skill in the area of visualisation which I know gives some people the willies as they think they need crisp, perfect pictures in their minds but trust me readers – for this one hazy images are fine. All that matters is your intention and hopefully your lovely subconscious mind will take the hint and do the work for you. Approach this process lightly as enjoying it is part of the Magic. Here it be:

Let’s say you’re going about your day when inspiration strikes you with an idea for a piece of immediate action in the direction of your dreams! You’re poised to take the next step when the goblin starts telling you that you haven’t a chance. Usually he would run his little audio-visual show and you would slump back down in front of Columbo but not this time. No, this time you:

1. Banish! Banishing is the part of the ritual where you clear an area both physically and psychically of all distractions so you can work your magic. Traditionally it involves all kinds of chanting and incense and pissing about which is unnecessary and impractical if you’re doing this on the fly. All you need to do for this exercise is visualise/imagine a circle of about nine feet diameter on the floor around you, you being in the centre. It’s lit up like a blue flame. You take three deep breaths and on each exhale you imagine white light pulsing out of you and clearing the space in the circle.

2. Imagine on the outside of the circle a fictitious character from pop culture that you find annoying and tedious. Think Snarf from Thundercats.

3. Imagine the voice that you use to criticize yourself coming from the lips of this annoying little critter. Instead of your own voice, imagine it a high pitched whine. Let it rant for no more then a few seconds then

4. Physically raise your right hand, extend your middle finger, say in your strongest voice out loud, “Enough! This is my dream, my life and you aren’t holding me back anymore! Now – f*&k off!!”

5. On the “f*&k off” imagine the annoying character from pop culture exploding at the level of atoms, his voice to be heard no more.

6. Take a few deep breathes in the clear space then open your eyes.

7. This is the most important bit. Immediately take some direct action, however small, in the really real world in the direction of whatever it is you wish to accomplish. This lets your subconscious know you’re serious, it wasn’t all just play-acting, and to give you less of a hard time in the future.

This process should only take a couple of minutes, tops. The act of raising your finger and swearing isn’t just for giggles; it gets your mind and body working in the same direction and lets the inner goblin know you mean business. Those I’ve taught this bit of mental skulduggery to report excellent results – my ex-flatmate used it to clear her inertia and now runs her own business very successfully, thank you very much. Another compadre used it to radically improve his dating life. By all means feel free to vary it to your own tastes.

If you’re out in company you can, with a little practise, perform the whole manoeuvre in your head obviously without raising your finger or swearing out loud as that could be considered a social faux pas in polite society.

Be well my friends, till next time,

D

PS for those interested in gigs and so forth I am to be found on Facebook as Danny Buckler but stay away if you’re a nutter.